fitful and strange, Beth strange

its one of those strange nights where you feel like the night air is you, that you are it, that there is no beginning, there is no end and yet you question everything.

what do i want?
what do i want to do?
where do i want to go?
who do i love?
who should i love?
what should i take for lunch tomorrow?
should i go somewhere this summer? where?
would anyone notice if didnt do laundry this week?
is orange the new pink?
do cruel people get goodness?

z says: there's always a meal if there is pie. and who to love = pie.

thanks z! so helpful...

a wise woman has told me on a few occasions that it takes a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. i didnt forget to eat, i just forgot to buy groceries. but at least there is pie. how can i lose with pie? man cannot live by pie alone, but jv can try. meat pie, veggie pie, fruit pie, breakfast pie...

i was mean to someone today.
i was rude to someone today.
i shouldnt have been.
someone kept pushing me today.
they shouldnt have done that.
i am being vague.
i probably shouldnt be like that but this is my space. Precision, come not near.
you may think i am writing about you.
you may think i am writing to you.
chances are, you are wrong.

i have found paper to use for notes/doodles/letter-writing during my course tomorrow.
and there's pie.
do any of the questions left unaswered really matter now?
i cant answer that at the moment. i have just been told to go swab and flog, like a pirate.
aye aye!