(*note: Cricketr is pronounced "cricket". The second R is silent. Think of it as being the rating. Cricket, rated R)
Today i found myself walking down Broadway in between Main and Cambie, the part of the street lined with outdoors-y stores, when i started to feel a little....strange. To self-diagnose, i believe i am suffering from... Fleece Envy.
Clinical Manifestations of Fleece Envy
~ overwhelming desire to possess fleecy and/or other outdoorsy items without any obvious need
~ impaired reasoning - person is able to convince themself that they need said items
~ elaborate delusional systems for justification of purchases
~ person becomes convinced that fleecy/outdoorsy items already in possession are shabby and unable to sufficiently serve their purpose
~ impulsive and large purchases have been known to occur in some cases
~ excessive chills due to belief that old fleece will not keep warm enough
~ sweats occur when forced to leave without purchase
~ inability to think clearly when in same space as fleecy/outdoorsy items
~ inability to follow directions from others when fleecy/outdoorsy items are in view
Monday, November 14, 2005
Cricketr's* Curious Condition
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
ohmigod. i experienced fleece envy this morning. symptoms 1 and 4 specifically...is this borderline fleece envy? maybe if i had been in the same neighbourhood as you it would have become a full-blown case...
i was in the exact same position on friday.
both literally and figuratively.
that is a dangerous area of town.
thankfully, i was able to overcome it, if only temporarily. fleece envy must be somewhat like alcoholism, it's always there just waiting to come back and punch you in the face.
Post a Comment