put the bicycles away

IT'S THE FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR!!!

and its a blustery one! the 30-6okm winds are stripping the trees bare. the leaves scuttle past my windows and take flight like flocks of birds. the trees howl in pain as the wind whips through them. the sound is reminiscent of stormy waves crashing on a rocky shore.

the clouds are descending lower and closer as the minutes past.
i went from being able to see the snow-capped mountains across the valley to barely able to see the house across the street.

and we're losing power...

and there's a chance of a thunderstorm? can you even have a thunderstorm when its snowing?
its just me, and the snow, and a kitchen full of ghosties.

desperado?

i am beginning to shock myself.
perhaps i've lived alone too long.

this afternoon i went out for a nice Fall day walk to the store. i had on my favourite old lady cream cardigan and my orange summer sandals. my ears were being pleased by the sounds of the weakerthans and neko case.

i watched a man walked across the parking lot and into the store.
i watched the man sample grapes.
i watched the man pay for his purchases.
i was checking out a man in the GROCERY STORE.

have i no decency?

in my defense, he did have what can only be described as "rugged good looks".

but really, where else am i to check out people? i cant exactly check out people at work. Ok technically i could. But they're either coworkers (and thus married because they are all married) or patients. And any single patient is either widowed, drunk, drug-seeking, or disgusting.
considering i only ever go to work, to the grocery store, and home; considering there are no guys to check out at home, the grocery store is my only real option.

not that i HAVE to have an outlet for checking out people (ha ha ha! checking out guys at the check out! ha ha ha!) but its just... well... yea.

Something fuzzy this way comes?

Work.

All I ever write about is work.

All I ever do is work.

As always, crazy times last night. But the insanity of it all gave me more confidence in my skills as a nurse. I did another IV on the hard-start patient and I did a quick IV start on a patient with a third-degree heartblock who was waiting for the ICU ambulance team to take him out of town for a pacemaker. I picked up that a patient with a bowel obstruction was having either a TIA or a stroke. I learned how to do a non-stress test.

But sometimes when I come home from a hard day at work, or from a good exhilarating day at work, I wish I had something to cuddle with.
My coworkers have suggested I get a dog or a cat or a kitten or a hedgehog.
A friend suggested a hamster.

Please, I need suggestions for a new friend.

Preferences/requirements of JV's new friend:

1. must like cuddling
2. must be soft or fuzzy (not slimey)
3. must not be smelly

damn. yes! oh...

damn
one of my patients had very bad veins. she needs a new IV at least once a day. when i got to work and went to hang her first round of antibiotics, she warned me that the night before she needed a new IV at midnight. great.
i ran through the first two antibiotics sans probleme.
midnight came and went.
at 130am i went to hang doses 3 and 4 and found her IV had gone interstitial. damn.
fact: i suck at IVs.
i had tried to start one on her 2 days ago and had failed. i decided to just ask one of the other nurses to try for me (to save my lady some pain).
both nurses were busy in the ER with a patient.
damn.

yes!
i sat for 10 mins and thought about it.
and then i stood up and declared "I AM TAKING NO PRISONERS" and went and stuck her IV on the first go!!!!!
yes!!!!!!

oh...
i was just taping the IV into place and about to double-check that it hadn't shifted out of her vein when my Vocera went off.
i wasn't going to answer it because i was busy with tape and blood and needles, but we were having trouble with the Voceras (the star trek communicators) and only myself and the ER nurse had one. A patient had recently arrived via ambulance so I figured if she was calling me, she needed help with something.

"JV, could you or Charlene please go get the morgue stretcher?"
"uh... i'm in the middle of an IV here" (and my poor lady could hear what we were saying because voceras are LOUD. damn!)

i finished up and went down to see the ER nurse and did a little "i got the hard stick IV on the first go" dance. And then realized that the resident on call and the back-up doctor (dr. chickenlegs) were sitting there too... still waiting for the morgue stretcher.
oh.
damn.

At least there wasn't any puke

I was thinking, as it was happening, that it was a bad day.
but I wasn't entirely sure.

it may have been the fact that I wanted to call in sick with GI distress.
it may have been when our boss told us she was having Thursday early (a "Thursday" is her equivalent of a Monday) and that if we really wanted something, NOT to ask her for it today.
it may have been when Dr. Rose* arrived for morning rounds and bite off an LPN's head in front of everyone. She didn't deserve to loose her head over her question to him.
(*i've decided to name him Dr. Rose because he's excellent with his patients, particularly the elderly and the palliative. But when we, the nurses, approach him, we tend to get the thorns)

or maybe it was when my patient's ambulance was rerouted for an accident in town and we were all on red-alert for the impending trauma. Which never came.

or when I had to give a blood transfusion to a patient (the last time I gave one I was yelled at the whole time by the patient who eventually just signed herself out of the hospital) who started having baby signs of a transfusion reaction.

or when I had a baby admitted into my care for seizure observation and I'd keep running down the hallway to see if he was still breathing.

it may have been when I felt like a dumbass for not giving the baby a medication I could have and not realizing until I was home that I actually had good reasons to not have given it but just hadn't documented them.
it may have been when the night nurse yelled at me for still having a seizing baby in our care and for having a seriously suicidal team in our hospital.
or when the other nightnurse yelled at me for not having called the night doctor to change my patient's diet.

I think it was when we learned that the trauma of the morning was a suicide...of a patient we had just sent home that day.
And then my coworker chastised me for not being sensitive enough to the night doctor who had been "responsible" for the suicide. (I later apologized to him, but he hadn't been offended. Which is good because there was no way he was responsible and if he thought he was, then he was a dumbass. I cant believe I apologized to a doctor. Of my own freewill.)

I was tired. And sick. And my coworkers were tired and sick. And the doctors were all on edge. And it was Monday. And we had exceeded our maximum patient allowance and still admitted patients to the extent that the computer (which broke down in the middle of the afternoon) wouldn't let us admit any more because we had 2 people in a one-bed room.
And I called Dr. Bushman because one of the LPNs needed a coumadin order and she couldn't find Dr. Rose and was scared to call Dr. Bushman. Not that I blamed her - she'd already had her head bitten off by Rose and Bushman is meaner than him. And Dr. Bushman and I had a strange conversation, as per usual. He said I must have had a nice vacation because I was all chipper. I told him I was actually frazzled but pretending to sound chipper so he'd be chipper back. And then I gave him the background on the patient and why I needed his help and told him I was ready for all his questions. He just laughed and told me to write down that Rose was unavailable, to put in brackets ASSHOLE! and then to write the coumadin order. I knew it was a bad day when I started laughing inappropriately at things, like Bushman calling Rose an asshole. And when i left work holding in my tears.

day off

Was woken up by Scheduling this morning. They changed my schedule (bastards!) and now i go back to work on sunday instead of monday. That really isnt much time off (2 days plus a sleep day).
Since i was up, i figured i'd go shopping. Today was the grand opening of The Bargain Store! in town. It was THE place to be. Seriously. The regional radio station even broadcasted live from it today. What a joke. I had secretly hoped that it wouldnt be as crappy as i thought it would be. So much for hope.
Why cant we at least get a Zellers in this town?
I'm interested to see who closes down first - TBS!, Saan, or Fields.

I went looking for printed scrub tops. There werent any.

I went looking for a reasonably-price couch that didnt smell like age and sketchiness. I didnt find any.

I went to buy chicken soup. It was on sale! It was sold out.

I had a nap.

I had a second nap.

I bought a couch online and they're going to deliver it to my door! (ha ha! some poor sucker has to carry it up all my stairs...)

I made sugar cookie dough in preparation for cookie-making, laundry-doing, studying extravaganza tomorrow.

let's play Pretending

last night at work we all played Doctor:

"did you see this aspect of this patient? i think its this..."

"i know! but did you see the blanket? that diarrhea looked and smelled bloody. I suppose that's probably the result of a perforated bowel"

"and did you see his tongue? it was white. Must have some thrush."

"i think we need to consult physio on this case"

"i hear the doctor wants to off load this patient's care. maybe we should take them on"

It was fun to discuss health and possible interventions as if we really knew what was going on. And maybe we did.

It happened last night...

Please, tell me you are allergic to something BEFORE I send it rushing through your veins. 'Nough said about that!

Dr. Pumpkinhead tells his resident that he's scared of the nurses. As it should be!

My coworker had a patient last night who was quite ill and quite large. When she came back from a round at 4am (while we were all sleepily trying to stay interested in a game of cards) and told us that said patient had diarrhea, we all just stared at her, willing ourselves to have misunderstood. Large person who barely fits in bed, can not get up without 4 nurses, diarrhea. WHAT?!?!?!? We just sat there, in disbelief, at a loss for how we were going to clean it up, until she yelled "HE SHIT THE BED". Then it was all action. You grab the towels! You grab the gowns! You grab the linens? Me? I had to stop giddily laughing. It was too unreal. Poo is gross, but its really funny when you are sleep-deprived. Unless you slip in it. Which I didn't. It was close though.

time for frills

after a nice nap in the sun on the bed in the art room [i had to test out the new comforters i purchased yesterday to ensure that they are comfy in case anyone comes to visit (like my mom, who loves me best. i know because she's coming to visit)] i decided it was time to do some baking.
serious baking.
and thus, i pulled out the pink frilly apron.

now the pear pie is cooling on the cooling rack and the curry pies are in the oven and i feel satisfyingly tired.

it began with turkeys in the fog

i told myself last night that today i would get up at a decent morning hour, do the laundry, and do some studying for work.
but my house was cold and my bed was warm and some crazy woman phoned me at 830am and asked me round for tea.

and thus i found myself brushing off all thoughts of studying to drive in my car along a quaint country road, marvelling at the fall trees and turkeys.

my friend trudy is crazy. but she has the most delicious laugh. i arrived at her house before 10am to find her with a roasting dish full of cookie dough. she works casually at the hospital with me, she has a husband, 4 kids, a dog, 5 cats (she tried to get me to take the kitten home), 2 cows, 2 horses, 2 pigs, a rooster named Big Red, and a whole lot of crazy chickens.
i played with her youngest son. he's 4 and very shy except when talking about his chickens and/or his chickens playing in the horse poo!
i played with the cats. yes, i did.
i played with the chickens.
i played with the walnuts under the walnut tree and didnt even get hit by a falling nut!
as the sun began to come out, i was sent home, happy, with a bag of pears from their pear tree.
now i shall make pear pie!

the test

today was Baking Day.
here is why:

1. i needed to use up some eggs and i refused to make an egg sandwich (and omelettes give me migraines)
2. i needed to prove to myself that my failure to make chocolate chip cookies is not an overall failure in the kitchen

i decided to make some molasses cookies.
here is why:

1. molasses is high in iron and calcium and other things
2. molasses is fun to play with
3. the idea randomly popped into my head and i couldn't think of any reason NOT to make them
4. i cant find any molasses Halloween candies (mmmm Halloween kisses)

success!
they are mildly potent (next time i think i'll put slightly less molasses and slightly more brown sugar) but they LOOK like cookies!

i think my test has proven that i am not a failure at cookies in general, but that there is a strange phenomenon occurring that results in my inability to make traditional chocolate chip cookies. this warrants further investigation.

failing at living my dreams

i dreamed about doughnuts last night.
so i went to the bakery today to buy one but they are SOLD OUT.
i guess everyone else dreamed about them too.

new character takes the stage

he whistles when he answers the phone

he cradled my arm in close to his chest while i asked him about liquid antacids

he is a strange man

a strange man from the the country of Drs. Bushman and Chicken Legs

He is Dr. Cologne

oh yes, he makes his presence known
by bowling you over with the strength of his cologne.

i held my breath all day

i held my breath all day for fear of sudden unpleasantness at work.

they tried to convince me it was my "turn" to work emerg but i put my foot down for i'm not exactly qualified to work there alone. particularly considering the recent state of extreme interventions we've had down there.

but then i learned that a nice calm RN was also scheduled there all day (she helped me during last week's trauma) and that i was thus supernumerary. so i went. to emerg. all day.

emerg is weird because if there's no one there, there's nothing to do. no charting to pretend to have to do. no games to play. just waiting and hoping that the next person who walks through the door isn't a cardiac or a trauma. or barfing. or verbally abusive.

i lost a little confidence when i missed IVs on two patients in a row. but third time's a charm. my third patient, who spent the whole time i was assessing his veins telling me about the last nurse he had (in kelowna) who was AWFUL and he had to tell her after torturing him through 4-5 attempts to piss off and find a doctor (which is funny because most doctors, unless they are new or anesthetists, don't get much opportunity to do IVs), did not succeed in breaking my spirit and i nailed it on the first attempt! what a rush!

and i did some catheters! the first one was concerning because it was a male catheter and yesterday another nurse and i ran in to difficulties with male catheters. Stupid enlarged prostates. Anyways, i went in to see the patient and all i had to do was prep him for a procedure by catheterizing him. i wasn't worried. until Dr. Chicken Legs saunters in on his long chicken legs and i have to tell him that i'm not ready for him yet. And then he stands there and decides to "coach me" through it by emphatically saying "go! go! go!". And "do you feel resistance? yes? go! go! go!". what a strange man.

and there was no barfing.
and there was no yelling at me.
and i some how succeeded in making the intimidating doctor laugh (and not AT me!).
and a patient bribed me with chocolate.

why do i subject myself to this torture called Work

am i too young to be jaded with the whole working world?