nothing like feeling like a dork to end a nightshift

to set the scene: it is 6am. I have spent the past 11hrs trying not to injure myself in an attempt to end the pain that is known as staying awake all night at work. everyone else got a 2-3 HOUR nap. i got 2 mins on the nursing desk. fair?
one of my patients decided to speed up the dying process. i did all i was able to do and called RN Ess to give her expert opinion. she said she'd call the family. and the doctor. the doctor was actually in the building so she sent him down.

it is 6am. i havent slept. my patient is dying and i cant hear the doctor's orders to me.
RN Ess double checks them for me.
the doctor, Dr. Chicken Legs, comes down to my med cart. i think he's going to laugh at me. RN Ess tells him i couldnt hear him because he speaks so softly. (atropine, atrovent, what's the difference?!?!) i tell him i couldnt hear him through his moustache.

it is 6am. i havent slept. i'm trying to give some medications STAT but i cant decipher the orders through Dr. Chicken Legs' sound-absorbing porn moustache. i'm rapidly scribbling down a note so i dont forget later. Dr.Chicken Legs walks up to me, pulls my pen out of my hand, puts it right back in, and continues walking. i stare at it, confused. i couldnt see any difference to how it is from how it had been.

slowly, i turn around and ask him spacedly....
me: why did you move my pen?
dr. chicken legs: because you looked like a baboon.

he hurries back to emerg and i'm left standing in disbelief. RN Ess, did he just call me a baboon?
she has vowed to never let this one die down.

RN Ess makes me march out to emerg to clarify the order with Dr. Chicken Legs because he ordered an atypical dose (not that i would know, having never given this drug before. its pretty much a code drug. i thought it was a DR-administered drug.).

me: i just need to know if you want zero-point-five or zero-point-six and how you want it given
dr. chicken legs: blah blah blah baboons blah lack of opposable thumbs blah blah
me: ZERO-POINT-FIVE OR ZERO-POINT-SIX???? IM, SC, or IV??
dr. chicken legs: so do you know how to give 0.5?
me: i can do it. i just want to know HOW
dr. chicken legs: so first you draw up 6ml...
me: i KNOW how to give 0.5. DO YOU WANT IT IV?
dr. chicken legs: blah blah baboons blah blah 6ml
me: look. i have a patient who REALLY needs this med. zero. point. five. IV. slow push. OOOOOKKKKKKKK??

its 645am. i havent finished charting or given my report. Dr. Chicken Legs is telling me about baboons in general and baboons in his home country. He would never hire anyone who writes like a baboon. I guess its a good thing he doesnt pay my salary...