for days and days

i lay in my tent
in the room down the hall
listening to footsteps
approaching
hesitating
i'm not sleeping

thinking of you
this is
yes this is the truth
i do
you know
think of you
and you may not think i do
but i warm
when you stop at my door
and lean against the frame
and smile

i stared out at the ocean
and thought about
my thoughts of you
how is it that i am so divided
in my thoughts of you

i gazed up at you
when you held me
and pulled back to soothe me with words
within your embrace
and at that moment
i knew
i had to kiss you
did you know it too?

on the road again

that's right!

i've finished with the Job.
no more stressed doctors.
no more speculation.

i've packed up my stuff.
the putt-putt wagon and i are off on an adventure.

stay tuned!

going into hiding

i've decided that it is time to hide.

from what am i hiding?

the Sun.

I remembered today the things i dont like about Summer.
I dont like the sweating.
I dont like the hot humid air that is hard to breathe.
I dont like the multiple daily applications of sunscreen.
I dont like the sunburns, especially those in spite of the sunscreen.

Today i got my first sunburn of 2006. And it isnt even summer yet. And i even had sunscreen on. And it was overcast most of the time i was outside.
This isnt fair.

speculation

i am taking an extended leave of absence from work. my colleagues are curious as to where i am going and what i am going to do. thus far, all they know is that i am leaving town and i will be coming back to town.

my coworkers' thoughts on what i'm doing on my leave of absence:
1) going to find a husband
2) going to Asia to find a husband
3) going to Ottawa to rekindle an old romance
4) going to have a c-section (because we essentially have no OB-GYNs in town to deliver babies)
5) going to get pregnant
6) going for surgery
7) getting breast enhancement
8) getting liposuction
9) going to the super-famous-and-yet-i've-not-heard-of-it ashram
10) knitting dishcloths
11) going on a bike tour of the Queen Charlottes
12) doing travel nursing
13) joining a troupe of medieval re-enactors

Isnt this a fun game?!

hello, Hell?

it was a long day at work today. not a bad day, just a long one.
And the majority of us were suffering from First Day Back Brain. Ugh.
And i had to work with someone whose name backwards is Ah, Satan.
And the doctors were stressed.
And management was stressed.
And the nurses were stuck in the middle.
And apparently there were tv crews. And it was D Day. D for doctors. Doctors cutting services.
And i was sweating all day at work. Gross. Its what happens when its 32c in the middle of MAY and they dont turn on the hospital AC.
And my mailbox was completely empty.
And my email inbox was devoid of new signs of life.
And i ran down the hill from work to band practice only to find that the door was locked. Jerks.
And my house is a pressure cooker. Too warm. No air.

But i learned an important lesson today about knowing what you want, knowing your rights/entitlements, and being persistent. And so, today i won a battle against management. So long, suckers!

i hear noises in the dark

there's a party in the back yard of one of the houses across the street. I cant see it but i know its there. The music, the chatter, the vague party sounds are floating in through my open windows at a faint level that makes me pause and cock my head and think there are voices in the other room.
eerie.

and the Ghost Train just passed.
double eerie.

i watched a nice french film tonight called A Very Long Engagement. Unfortunately, it was based during the war and now i have war images in my sensitive head. Out damn spot!

after the movie, i decided to go for a drive around town. You know, take the long way home. There is this street that i've always been curious about. It has a strange curve to it. Its the one that, at the point where it crosses Cardiac Hill, has the sign that says "Caution. Wheelchairs on Roadway". I thought i could be all sneaky-like and go down the street in the dark and no one would be out to see me and recognize me. I forgot that my cute little car is a putt-putt car. It is audible (but i love it). Damn! No sneaky get-aways and no hiding bodies in the trunk. I guess i'm going to be traveling the Straight and Narrow from now on.